29.11.09

Am tense about xmas already and don’t know why. We don’t have to entertain or be forced to endure anyone else’s agonising version of xmas. P said, “When you get grumpy about xmas, just remember that we almost lost Jake.” It’s still unreal. Have noticed that when P goes to leave the room, Jake cries and throws his arms around P’s legs. Then toddles after him, screaming Dada Dada, crossly flinging objects with his little toddler arms. Odd to see this new separation anxiety with P after months of it with me. I feel a mix of envy and relief.