I don't know

I don’t know if it’s because it’s Thursday

or the longest day, the first day of summer 

and yet we are already creeping towards the dark

I don’t know if it’s because it’s 4:34 in the afternoon 

and I am alone

I don’t know if it’s because The Walkmen 

are playing a waltz on the radio 

or I because I spent the morning with kids in school 

and my little Batman will be off soon

or because I heard of the death of another 

in the arms of his young mother 

or because my Mom’s polyps were benign this time 

or because it’s raining again and I still haven’t cut the grass 

or because a young couple are moving in next door 

or because of the smell of paint 

or the memories I can’t feel 

or the story of the lost owl 

or because I am sending postcards to strangers in China 

and there will always be books I’m not going to get around to reading 

and my shirt is damp 

and the strawberries are bruised 

and there is no one to smell my hair which I got cut two hours ago 

and I don’t know what I mean to you 

and a dog named Zeus licked my feet even though we hadn’t met before 

and probably won’t again 

but I feel as if I’m about to lose everything

as if it is all about to fall away 

and I will empty out 

and not be filled again.