29.1.10

Jake’s reversal has been confirmed for 5th February. Posted this on Facebook and received congratulations. One person even said Lush. I’m not ungrateful and I know people mean well, but congratulations just seem entirely inappropriate right now. But then again, maybe that’s what I get for using Facebook to talk about such things. Still, I say save the congratulations for when he comes out, completely recovered and well. Not for now, when we know what’s ahead, what we still have to go through, what he has to go through. We will hope for the best but prepare for the unpredictable.
~

I’ve never had surgery, but for Jake, this will be the second time. He’s only 18 months old. We are told that in the best case scenario, he will be in hospital for a week. I am fully expecting it will be longer.  This may sound negative, but we never expected what happened to Jake to happen in the first place.

We also met other patients on Jake’s ward when he was recovering last time - patients who had to keep returning to hospital throughout their young lives for problems that kept occurring despite surgery. We even met someone whose troubles began after her stoma was reversed. She’d been in hospital for months and the surgeons were still clueless as to why.

And then there’s the fear that we’ll lose Jake completely. It shouldn’t happen, it’s a routine procedure and he should come through it fine, but a lot of things should never happen. Lately I’ve been hearing too much about children dying. I fear it will happen to Jake. I know it’s not rational, but I’ve spent most of my life losing people, as if I was careless enough to let them slip through my fingers. 

If I heard someone else say this, I’d be telling them not to worry, that of course it won’t happen. That it’s important to stay positive and look forward to Jake’s recovery and life after that. And I will. But for now, this is what I'm feeling. And I just need to say it.

Funky vision

Playing with our 3D Doodle Kit

Mummy's little helper

You make the sauce and I'll cook the pasta, deal?

Look, I'm sorting the laundry into helpful piles!

Enjoying these...

We just received these...they are exquisite!  I'm so happy my bubba loves his books.

Mummy Jake

One of the presents I got Jake for xmas was a doll.  He always plays with at least one doll when I take him to playgroups and I didn't see why I should deprive him of one just because he's a boy.  We rationed his xmas presents so he wouldn't feel overwhelmed getting them all at once.  That way, xmas lasts for ages!  Here's my little boy being a good Mummy to his dolly.  I know she looks a bit creepy and very pink, but he loves her anyway! 

For those of you who might be feeling nervous at the sight of a boy playing with a pink doll, do not fret.  His very last xmas present which he'll get this weekend is a good old solid boy's toy - a wooden train set.

Christmas

Enjoying Mummy's Chocolate Cinnamon Cake and the general festivities...

My lil pixie child

Enjoying some toast...(and hoping we can go home soon)

Smiling from his hospital bed

This is what happens when you send a man out to buy a hat...

Your baby ends up looking like a pirate / gangster rapper!

My baby's 10 months old!!

If you see little baby bags under his big baby eyes, it's cos he hasn't been sleeping too well lately. I never thought a baby could get bags under their eyes from lack of sleep! There's a lot of stuff no one told me about all this motherhood business!

One of the consequences of baby-led weaning...

...our meat loving cat ends up eating banana weetabix cake for breakfast and lentil loaf for dinner. I never thought I'd see the day...

The treasure basket is a big hit...

http://www.thetreasurebasket.co.uk/

Almost crawling...

Please help me...

I've been captured by the funny hat people...

What's Mummy reading now and does it taste good?

This is the day...

I took Jake for a walk and he started wailing. He cried all the way home...at one point I was carrying him and pushing the buggy at the same time. I should have known when I took this photo of him that he was feeling grumpy!!

Hey, I know you!

I love my moose

they sure like puttin' me in funny hats round here...