12.8.10 ~ 200 words on restlessness

Feeling restless. It’s that post-holiday but it feels like everyone else is still on holiday even though the weather is crap feeling. Yesterday I worked on staying with my sadness. And I did. But I’ve had enough. I’m bored of that already. I want something to do. I want something to start. When I was younger, I hated my summer holidays. I was always separated from my friends and forced to do “worthwhile” things with my family. Plus I was a freak who loved school and looked forward to September. But now that I’ve taken voluntary redundancy, I don’t even have a job to go back to anymore. It’s what I want, but it still scares me. Plus I want to do more creating. There’s been a lot of writing and photography on this blog lately, but not very much “art”. I want to do more art. Yesterday I started making a papier-mache cat. Jake saw it and said, “Oh! Baby cat!” It’s not finished yet. But I want more. I want to make papier-mache everything. Papier-mache people, replicas of everyone in my life, past and present. I don’t really know how to do things in moderation. Can you tell?