"If only I could figure out how to show Trixie I have a soft side", Howard thought. "Oh well, this new miracle balm for crustaceans might just help."
Jar reads "softening balm for hard shells...try a little tenderness".
Soft Balm is available from Crustacean Health Clinics everywhere, no prescription required. Contains all natural organic ingredients. No harmful side effects reported.
Pen & ink.