Wednesday, July 11, 2007

a blow to the skull

I'm having one of those days. Except, it's been going on for a couple of weeks now. But today it was technicolour. Those of you who visit me regularly may remember reading something about me and a painting course a few months back.

Yet, I hardly ever mention it and I haven't posted much of my course work, or much of any painting for that matter. There's a reason for that. I'm really struggling with paint. And I'm really struggling with the course assignments.

Each time I sit down to do an assignment, I come face to face with my own limitations and shortcomings. And it's getting more intense. All I can focus on is what I can't do. So much so that I'm not enjoying it. Up till now, I've been taking it fairly well. But today it wasn't pretty. There were tantrums and sulking and banging and cussing. I've been exuding a fractious, stabby energy.

I really didn't want to do the latest assignment (doing a colour study of "a flower in an interior") but I eventually forced myself to do it. Even while I was coming up with a million reasons why it was "stupid" and kept muttering "what's the point" under my breath, I did it. I didn't enjoy it and bearing in mind my frame of mind, I don't know what I've gotten out of it yet, but I did the damn thing. Then I decided that I should stop. Sometimes, if you push yourself too hard you end up poking yourself in the eye. So I stopped and ranted in my notebook instead.

After that I felt better. After that I gained maybe an ounce of perspective and allowed myself to see that this is potentially a big learning opportunity. If only I can get beyond my negativity. Then I checked my emails and read my Roboscope (written by Rob Breszny) for the coming week. Here's what it said:

So that's how I'm going to try and take this. As a well-meaning blow to the skull, all for the cause of fertile uproar. But just incase you think I'm being falsely's the proof...if there are any painters out there reading this, your advice would be greatly appreciated.


Kimbu said...

Well I ain't no 'painter', but I like them. I think you have a unique style and it shows through in these paintings just as it does in your other work.

I know the subjects can be a bit dull, but what you've produced isn't.

Are you are trying to shake off your style and create something else? Don't you like the results at all?

Nina said...

Oh my. When you mentioned 'strugglinh' I thought....It must be bad news. then....I saw those paintings...You struggled to produce those beauties? Oh my. I would be in dire. Struggle would be too mild for the case of 'lack of talent' on my part.

As always, I love love love your work. Go Tammy!!!

Nina x
p.s I am going to check up on Pablo

julia said...

Hey there, heads up and thumbs up. I'm no painter, but I can see you're doing fine painting, but I'm an illustrator, and everybody touches some kind of limit every once in a while. Where would be the challenge, if it weren't so ? You'd be bored out of your mind (? would you ?). Sometimes I think being an artist means you have to take everything as a challenge. And you know, it could be worse than 'a flower in an interior'. It could be 'my sweetest pink cupcake on my favourite purple tray'... or something horrible like that. (I think I should be going to bed. I write nonsense.)

changapeluda said...

I like how you assured us that your modesty is Not False
(and then your paintings: they weren't even bad

I think you're fabulous even when you don't. And what is a "Painting" anyway?!? Do you Have to have a brush and canvas an easel and a beret? Can you paint it with a spatula? Fingerpainting? Your cat's tail if she'll let ya???

And last but not least
AT LEAST your blow didn't come via a nail gun that your dad didn't skyhook to the trusses!!!!

Mauricio said...