So that's how I'm going to try and take this. As a well-meaning blow to the skull, all for the cause of fertile uproar. But just incase you think I'm being falsely modest...here's the proof...if there are any painters out there reading this, your advice would be greatly appreciated.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
a blow to the skull
I'm having one of those days. Except, it's been going on for a couple of weeks now. But today it was technicolour. Those of you who visit me regularly may remember reading something about me and a painting course a few months back.
Yet, I hardly ever mention it and I haven't posted much of my course work, or much of any painting for that matter. There's a reason for that. I'm really struggling with paint. And I'm really struggling with the course assignments.
Each time I sit down to do an assignment, I come face to face with my own limitations and shortcomings. And it's getting more intense. All I can focus on is what I can't do. So much so that I'm not enjoying it. Up till now, I've been taking it fairly well. But today it wasn't pretty. There were tantrums and sulking and banging and cussing. I've been exuding a fractious, stabby energy.
I really didn't want to do the latest assignment (doing a colour study of "a flower in an interior") but I eventually forced myself to do it. Even while I was coming up with a million reasons why it was "stupid" and kept muttering "what's the point" under my breath, I did it. I didn't enjoy it and bearing in mind my frame of mind, I don't know what I've gotten out of it yet, but I did the damn thing. Then I decided that I should stop. Sometimes, if you push yourself too hard you end up poking yourself in the eye. So I stopped and ranted in my notebook instead.
After that I felt better. After that I gained maybe an ounce of perspective and allowed myself to see that this is potentially a big learning opportunity. If only I can get beyond my negativity. Then I checked my emails and read my Roboscope (written by Rob Breszny) for the coming week. Here's what it said: