Jake: Mummy, did you just say 'fuck', like yesterday?
Me: Yes darling, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it.
Jake: Please don't say it again, okay?
Me: I'll try darling, I'm really sorry.
Jake: Do you want a cuddle and a kiss?
Me: (tearing up) Yes please.
Jake clambers off his chair to give me the best hug and kiss in the world.
Leafing through the A - Z, Jake instructs me to sit down with him to "read the maps".
He points to a green bit which is Hyde Park and says, "We can ride horses there."
"Yes, we probably can," I say.
"And tigers too. And cows. And sheeps. Are sheeps friendly?"
"Yes, I think they are."
"Yeah, sheeps. We can ride sheeps. I think they'd like that."
Jake, holding his toy motorbike and running it up and down the back of the sofa:
Mummy, do you remember that place we went to with Ben-Alex, there was a monkey (he mimics an animal playing a drum), two, no, three really tall mans and there was a motorbike going up and down and up and down and there were some greedy people getting on it? Do you remember? Were you there?
Me: Er....I think so?
Jake: Yeah, let's go there again. Okay?
Me: Mmmmm, sure.
How long til he twigs I don't really know what I'm doing?