Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Scintilla Project ~ Day 1

Who am I?

I am full on fried chicken and rice fried with aubergine and cherry tomatoes.

I am sitting on a hip that’s out of balance.

I am alone in the house, except for Yoshi the cat, because my son is at his Dad’s tonight.

I am writing by hand again, sending letters to friends and postcards to strangers.

I am finding out what friendship really means. 

I’m discovering more than I’d like to, about what isn’t enough.  But it means I’m learning to recognise what is.

I am learning to play the ukulele.

I’ve just learned that I’ve been spelling ukulele wrong.

I am starting yet another project. (It's ok, this one is only for a fortnight).

I am being frightened by a small child I used to know.

I am trying to be kind.

I am trying to live with the following suggestions:

-         stay open, no matter what
-         always cultivate a joyful mind
-         no blame, be kind, love everything
(I think they all sort of mean the same thing)

I like stripey socks.

I am 40, but I still find farts amusing.

I am meeting several of my online friends next week, our first time seeing each other face-to-face.

I have stretch marks around my belly button.  They are in the shape of a flame.  But I refuse to call them tiger stripes.  I don’t need anyone to look at them and see tiger stripes.  I know what they are.  My skin's memory of the weight of my son.  My life's greatest privilege.  They are what they are.  Even when I wiggle my wobbly belly and they look like a flickering fire.

My son is my biggest supporter.  And he calls marshmallows smarshmallows.  His Dad taught him that.

I may not jump out of airplanes but I take risks, all the time.  I may seem quiet, but my heart roars.  (Yeah, writing that made me cringe a little.  But I'm also trying to make friends with the things that make me uncomfortable.)

Come roar with me.


This post was written as part of The Scintilla Project, which I first read about in Elizabeth's Marie's fantabulously beautiful post.


Annette said...

I swear, you find the most interesting projects to participate in! I signed up too -- we'll see how I do.

dominique said...

i have so much yes for this post. a) you say aubergine! b) your cat's name is yoshi. c) you discover the correct spellings of things as you're writing this (i do this always). d) farts are ALWAYS amusing. i am SO looking forward to reading your future posts!

Heartful said...

Awwww, thanks Dominique!

Good luck Annette, I'll be looking out for your posts.

teri said...

I am sitting here trying to figure out why I cannot leave comments on wordpress blogs...It takes me to my google reading list... I did not know I had a reading list. It is a list of blogs I have joined. Yours is at the top, because you just posted. Now I have read your post and remember you from WOWH. Hello again. Now I am wondering if I shall look into the Scintilla project. Have a great night!!

Elizabeth Marie said...

Oh, I'm SO glad to see you! I have been a bad, bad Internet friend. Let's blame it on grad school, OK? Seems to me that your blank mind was really quite full. I LOVE this. Especially the flaming stretch marks.

Heartful said...

Hi Teri, I haven't been on WOWH for ages but will be back on there again at the end of this month for one of Fiona's courses.

Elizabeth - I've been a bad bad internet friend too! But none of that matters - it's great to be reading you again.