Creature Comforts

evolution of a journal

At the beginning of this year, I bought myself a gorgeous, chunky, lined and dated moleskine diary with the intention of capturing something in it each day, in a way that was different from the usual way of keeping a diary. I bought it because I loved the feel of it, the weight of it in my hand, the dark hard covers, the smooth shiny pages which pens and markers glide so beautifully across.

When I discovered mandalas, they became my way of keeping a diary. And it's the one activity (apart from keeping this blog) that I have been doing with any consistency and regularity throughout the year, so much so that it has become a natural daily practice, and it's all come about organically. It has been a true journal in so many ways, and I didn't even realise it. And just cos it's lined, and I don't paint in it, shouldn't have lessened its value as an "art" journal to me in any way.

It's not only been a personal space, my personal space, it's been a practice of spontaneity and freedom within a simple structure. I have also experimented and played instinctively with colour, design, line, character - things I love most about drawing and making drawings, free from the harsh self-criticism that I usually unleash over my other so called "proper" attempts at art. And free from expectation. So - I had already been keeping an "art" journal and I hadn't even realised it, because I thought an art journal had to be something else, something that looked different to what this looks like, something more elaborate, something more "serious", something a lot more "arty", whatever that means. In the end, I didn't really need somebody else to tell me how to do this. All I really needed to do was trust myself.

Realising this makes me both sad and happy. Sad because I didn't see the value of what I was doing until now, but happy that I finally have. And also relieved, because I don't have to try to be anything or anyone "artistically" other than who I am. I am also relieved, because it means I can let certain things go and simplify and concentrate on the things that really matter to me. I had already been trying to do far too much.

I can't wait to buy my moleskine diary for 2008. And next year, in addition to mandalas, I will perhaps aim to fill the whole page with line and colour and words. And I might just share some of them with you too. ;-)

superstition for IF

Silas distinctly remembered his mother saying that a bird's dropping on your head is good luck.

(Pen & ink on a luggage tag)

love, love, love (and some mandalas)

Thank you for the love! It must have done the trick because you know what, I feel almost normal now, which is quite a feat for me. What a relief! Thanks again. xxx

mandalas from the sick bed

I have the flu. I feel like shit. Please send me some love.

Lottie dreaming (oil pastel on board)

Before I got this horrid flu, I managed to spend some time this weekend experimenting with a technique I saw in my encyclopedia of pastel techniques. I covered a piece of art board with permanent black india ink (three layers), and then once it had dried, covered it again with a thick layer of oil pastels. Then I scratched out the image using a palette knife and nail file. It was a bit messy, but I like the textured look of it. What do you think?

mandalas from the week

The fourth one has been photoshopped, it was originally a hand-drawn image and then altered.

Ya baby!

Further experimentation with texture, this time drawing directly with pastel onto gessoed* journal pages. My subject this time were a couple of Chinese ya pears.

(*Gesso - a primer used to prepare canvas, paper or other grounds for painting on. The one I use is a white acrylic one which looks just like white paint, but it has a different texture to it.)

Apologies for the week long absence from my blog. It's been an activity filled week!

New things that I have started this week include a new practise of dynamic yoga and the reading and following of Fearless Creating.

New things that I am soon to start include salt dough making as featured on Na's & Lesley's blogs, rubber stamp making as featured on Lesley's blog and knitting (at long last!).

This year I am not going to buy any Christmas cards or presents. Everything is going to be handmade. All I need now is a device that enables me to be in two places at the same time so that while I am at my desk at work, I can also be at home making things. I believe Hermione had one in one of the Harry Potter books, that enabled her to take two classes at once. Anyone want to share the spell with me? (I am such a geek).

what a lovely pair

I saw these William pears on a fruit stall the other day and had to get them. I love their shapes, just lovely to draw.

These were drawn with charcoal and pastels (top photo), and then painted over with acrylic gel medium. Once the medium was dry, I dragged a dry brush lightly loaded with white gesso across the top (bottom photo).

latest mandalas

today's mandala

art journal pages

Lately I find myself wondering exactly why I am keeping an art journal. I haven't really thought about it, asked myself what I want from it, or understood why I am doing it. I want to create, yes. But I think what I really want is to find my own voice as an "artist", my own meaning, my own deep processes, my own work.

Lately as I’ve been trying to find ideas to work on and develop, I realise that most of my ideas have come from looking at other artists’ work and from waiting to be inspired. I know that it is hard to find an original idea, and I’m not even sure that that is exactly the point, but an obvious sense of “imitation” is as far as it’s gone for me and it’s not enough. The deepest I felt I went in my art was when I was doing that zen leaf drawing. Everything else has felt like bouncing around on the surface of things, course work included.

On my course work I feel like I am working harder, but at someone else’s task, not my own. I want my art to come from me. But am I ready for that, do I even understand what that means? This goes for both my writing and my drawing. I feel like I need some direction and help. And since I have a phobia of adult education classes (how ironic), I started browsing on Amazon on artist sketchbooks and I came across a book entitled Fearless Creating by Eric Maisel. I'm hopeful that it can help me. Let’s wait and see. I wonder how other people do it, how do they find their own voice, their own work?

In the meantime, I guess all I can do is keep creating, keep asking myself these questions, keep looking at and learning from other people’s art.

My favourite work of everything I have done are my blind contour ink portraits, my Damascus picture, some of my shoe drawings, my zen leaf drawing. These feel most like “my” work. The things they have in common are strong line and/or bold colour and a distinct viewpoint that is perhaps what could be called style. But what does this mean, if anything, and where do I go from here?

~

Changing the subject completely...did you know Alison Krauss and Robert Plant have done an album together? It's called Raising Sand, and it's beautiful.

And tomorrow night, I'm going to see Iron & Wine! Yay!!!!

Rocks, wire, scissors (and fimo)

I know love is beautiful, but sometimes, it also feels like this, even when it's the best thing in the world.

I LOVE PASTELS

You know what? I really love pastels. And I'm going to stop thinking that using pastels isn't "real" art. I know that paint is the most used medium by artists making pictures and I do want to learn to paint, but my first love is pastels. Pastels and drawing. I adore drawing. I adore making lines. I love lines. So here's one I made earlier, in its different stages.

It's been awhile since I've done one of these...

The joy of diversions

Really, there are so many things I should have been doing today. Like my painting course homework, writing overdue letters, returning phone calls, eating lunch. But here's what I did instead...see the little guy leaning on Lottie? Well I made him! For some inexplicable reason, I had this strong desire to make a felt cat. So I did. He's my first. Isn't he tiny? I didn't know what to stuff him with so I used some old bubble wrap!

And now there's even less time to do the things I should have got done today. Oh well, at least I did some art journalling. And I also finally did some yoga after a very lengthy "break" from all forms of exercise due to sheer lard-ass laziness.

Ok, I don't feel so bad now.

Grow

grow
Originally uploaded by the heartful blogger

You never know what will grow out of a magic bean...

Still unable to upload pictures onto blogger!!!!

Blogger has not allowed me to upload any pictures for the last few days and they still haven't solved the problem!!!!! Arrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!! So I'm gonna have to cheat and go via flickr, apologies for the funny format of the above post.

I've been away for a few days, here's where I went...

I love autumn!!

More pictures will be posted up on my photo blog in a few days.

More painting!

And I did this to use up the leftover paint...

Composition exercises

So I decided to just skip that whole dull chapter of my painting course that was going to require me to first sketch and then paint four pictures of different views from different rooms in my house. Perhaps I'll do that another time when I live somewhere with coloured walls, less clutter and more convenient angles and corners. The example they had in the course notes actually featured a room that had not only a piano, but a large dining table, beautiful chairs and lamps, not to mention lovely windows. Lucky for some...

So straight onto the chapter on composition, which was much more interesting. These are my exercises for the first part of the assignment.

Painting (4" x 3" chunky canvas)

Acrylic & Ink.

I have no idea what to call this.

Since watching Suzi Blu's Live Juicy video mentioned in my last post, I'm endeavouring to make a painting a week. This is my first! There was a sale going on at the London Graphics Centre, I got these little chunky canvases for only £1!! Both the cost and the dinky size helped to undo the daunting feeling that usually creeps up on me when faced with a pristine blank canvas.

It was fun making this. I had an idea what I wanted to do, but in the end, I like the way it turned out better than my original idea.

Painting

I'm beginning to understand why doing my painting course work is feeling like swimming through tar. The assignments are extremely prescriptive, the approach very conservative and traditional and doesn't leave much room for the imagination. No wonder I've been stuck.

On the other hand, watching Suzi Blu's videos are unsticking me and inspiring me to paint whatever the heck I want, however I want to do it. As Henry Miller said, "Paint what you like and die happy."

So I've figured out that there's no reason for me to stay within the narrow confines of the assignments. So they want me to sketch and then paint four different views in my house from one room into another. Would it really matter if I zoomed in on the four stripey coloured socks hanging off the radiator instead of trying to get the perspective and angles of the white walls correct? It is a view from one room to another after all. Besides, I can't really "fail" these assignments. I'm not getting graded for them. Whatever I send to my tutor, she always says the same thing. "You're doing fine, carry on." Honestly, if I hadn't paid several hundred pounds for the privelege of being told this, I'd quit. But then, that would be failing. And I'm not quitting. So I'm going to do it my way.

bluebird for inspire me thursday

I'm not really sure where this came from...