I’ve tried but it’s not happening today. The eggshells in the bowl are just eggshells, holding nothing of my anticipation of buttery toast dipped in runny yolk, and the blue sky is just blue sky, indifferent to my dismay at another wall of grey this morning and my surprise when I looked up and it had changed. Maybe this is a stone, a fully engaged moment where I feel my inability to engage. Or maybe the engaging today is painful. The flu-ey cold ache in my body dominates all. It wants to drag me to bed and keep me there.