Wednesday, March 23, 2011

23 March ~ Praise

The warm and sunny day

Being able to wear my spring coat

Our laundry hanging out to dry in the garden

The beauty of everything budding, the anticipation of blossoming

Paul taking the morning off work so I could go to counselling

My counsellor asking if I want to come twice a week (not because she thinks I’m not coping, but because she thinks I’m on the brink of something)

Discovery of a local Buddhist meditation group

Jake napping

An aisle full of honey in the International Supermarket, some jars containing chunks of hive

The work of bees

Does 10 things seem like a lot?  Does it seem excessive?  Does it seem like I'm showing off?  I wonder about these questions as I've been posting these lists.  But I'm reminded of something Fiona said in one of the exercises on Praise - to think of someone in your life, whether you know them well or not, whether you like them or not, and list 10 reasons why you are grateful to them. And if you struggle, think of 15. 
Why should finding 10 things to be grateful for / to praise each day be too much?  Is it because there is a shame in being "too happy"?  Is it because underneath it all is a feeling of not deserving to be happy?  There is something very British about grumbling and finding solidarity in moaning about something.  Being happy or showing it is almost looked on with suspicion, almost as being "too American".  I feel all of these things as I make my lists and post them.  So much so that I wonder if I shouldn't post them at all, but keep them to myself.  Because it makes me feel exposed.  But then again, if I'm not willing to take any risks about revealing myself, then why do I blog.  Why do I take courses like Writing as a Spiritual Practice?  Why do I go to counselling?  Why do I write?

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