Wednesday, January 19, 2011

19th January ~ 150 word diary (a recollection)

Yesterday while going through photos from my phone, Jake saw some of himself in hospital. I explained to him what they were. Some of them still make me wince. Took me back to the moment as if it were still a solid place. I put my arms around him but he pushed them away. Photos of buildings, light and Stevenson House came up in between. And I remembered how open I felt, involuntarily so. So open I felt exposed, as if I was being watched. The physicality of the world loud and vivid even in the moments in between. I felt I slept even with eyes open and eyes open on me. Just remembering it made me want to crawl under a blanket and sleep through the rest of winter. But Jake kept asking to see them, over and over again. “V hurting there, but Jake fine now,” he said.

1 comment:

Glovecat said...

I know what you mean about the memory being a physical place - I felt the same way about my birth experience until very recently. Going over the photos got my heart racing again and again. Going back to hospital to read over my delivery notes really helped.

I like the way Jake is so reassuring with you. I hope Megan will one day do the same for me!