Monday, December 21, 2009

21.12.09

I’m tired today. More than physically tired. I’m also tired of carrying around these old unwanted feelings. I just want to let them go – negativity, bitterness. Particularly about people and inconsiderateness and the fickleness of friendship. Wondering whether people really have changed so much, have become so busy, too busy to stay in touch beyond a superficial level, or if it’s me, whether there’s something about me that makes me forgettable or drives people away. I’ve never been much of a party girl. Maybe people associate me with seriousness and heaviness and stay away. I just wish I didn’t care.

4 comments:

Glovecat said...

I can completely relate. But some of it must be the time of year - it's the shortest day today! More light is on the way, it's all up from here! Don't be down! You're doing really well, and even though we're separated by the ether, I care. :)

A big, cybernetic hug is on its way. xOx

the heartful blogger said...

Awwww, thanks Em. :-)

nadia said...

I know you, and I associate you with laughter and daftness, fun and smiles, drawing in galleries and hot drinks in blue rooms, cool music and nice concerts, magical thoughtfulness and an adorable friend.

Some people are just not very thoughtful, and it hurts people who are because it's difficult to understand how people can be not-so-thoughtful, but try not to let it make you blue.

We think you are fab and love you guys lots! xxx

Beth said...

I spend a lot of time having the same sorts of thoughts. I'm slowly coming to the realisation that it's not me at fault. If I can be so introspective about things, it can't be me. Those people that don't stay around, or that do but who make life heavy work, they're the ones who are not worth having in your life. It's the most difficult thing I'm learning about life, and about myself, and it's the most difficult thing to try to explain. You'll come to it in time.