Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Heard yesterday that a Mum from the forum lost her child. She was two. She was put to bed a bit under the weather and was found dead by her mother the next morning. This was my biggest fear when Jake was newborn. Still is. I used to have intensely vivid nightmares about all the freak accidents that could happen, as if we were being stalked by an invisible malevolent force and I was completely powerless to protect him. Then P was attacked. In the midst of our joy of new life, fragility, vulnerability, and fear of the ultimate loss.

1 comment:

Beth said...

I barely slept last night, I just couldn't stop thinking about what she must be going through, and how I would feel. I lay on the sofa all evening and cried, I was all on my own and when DH came home I couldn't make him understand what I was feeling. A big part of my PND was feeling that I was going to accidentally hurt Jacob badly, and those thoughts were overwhelming. I don't feel like that any more, but news like this just grips your heart and stops you cold.