Yesterday afternoon, I watched Jake dance to Cat Stevens’ Ruby Love and Moonshadow. Not just beautiful songs but songs I was listening to constantly during the days before he was born, this time two years ago. It brought up so many feelings. I remember the hope I felt, the joyful anticipation of meeting him and getting to know him. And an unshakeable knowledge which I only recognised yesterday because it was barely perceptible to me two years ago - the wordless, living-beating-heart-knowledge of being his mother. It was already present within me, like he was, making my heart and womb full. Maybe it had always been there. And then, when he was born, so was I. Still me but new and ageless all at once.