10 & 11 July 2010
Felt awful for most of the day. I was so exhausted and overwhelmed by the heat I couldn’t get up till nearly noon. When Paul and Jake returned from their morning in the park, Jake was so tired he eventually let Paul hold him and he fell asleep in his Daddy’s arms. I wasn’t much good for anything but reading. So I finished my book and knew when I turned the last page that it had changed me. I’d been on my own journey without leaving home. Something of the Sufi heart in it opened a window. And I flew.
Met up with friends and their feisty little girl ‘A’ in the marshes for a picnic. Even for a cooler day with lots of cloud, we were a bit foolish not to sit in the shade. Jake was listless and wanted to be held, and not entirely because he was overwhelmed by A’s attentions. I felt so torn watching him as she pushed her face up to his for a kiss and cuddle. He looked like a rabbit in the headlights, scared but frozen. After her parents called her off, he turned to me, his face crumpled up in tears.