Watching Jake in the playground today I noticed how suddenly different he is with other children – more confident, actively interacting instead of shying away. He even followed an older, bigger boy around, at one point laying his head on the boy’s tummy as the boy sat at the bottom of a slide and smiling at him. The boy was autistic so didn’t really respond, but it didn’t stop Jake. By contrast, I woke up feeling anxious and vulnerable for no reason. And too light, as if I needed something heavy tied round my ankle to keep me from floating away.